Emotional Health

Healthy Buffs: How to make the most of tough conversations

Anonymous — Sun, 03 May 2020 17:30:19 +0000

Healthy Buffs: How to make the most of tough conversations Anonymous (not verified) Sun, 05/03/2020 - 11:30

Spending time with family can be as stressful as it is enjoyable, especially in times like these. That’s why it’s important to remember that we can love our family and disagree with them at the same time. This type of conflict is normal and doesn't necessarily need to be resolved.

With that being said, it's important that we communicate our thoughts and views with respect and be willing to consider what the other person has to say. Here are some tips to help you get through a tough conversation.

Starting a tough conversation

Plan ahead
Sometimes you may be the one to start a tough conversation with someone else. When this is the case, preparing for the conversation in advance can be helpful. Planning ahead assures you are able to share your views and hear your family’s perspective more effectively. Take a few minutes to consider these questions:

What do you hope to accomplish from this conversation?
What would be an ideal outcome?
How might this conversation affect your relationship?
How will you know when it’s time to take a break?
What assumptions are you making about how your family will respond or feel?

Before going into a potentially stressful conversation, it’s important to check-in with ourselves about what we’re expecting and what might realistically happen, so we can prepare emotionally.

If you’re not the one to initiate the conversation, it can be helpful to ask for time to pull your thoughts together before engaging with the other person. Make a plan and pick a time when you both can talk. This will help you feel more prepared, and the conversation won’t catch you off guard.

Working through a tough conversation

Pick a quiet time
It may be difficult to start a tough conversation. Choosing a quiet area to talk, finding a time that works for all parties, explaining why you want to have this conversation and sharing what you hope will come of it can all make for a better interaction.

De-escalate or take a break
When we have tough conversations, they can become heated or escalate more than we might have expected. When this happens, it may even lead you to say something that you regret. In these situations, de-escalating is an important tool to bring everyone back to the facts. Reiterate why this conversation is important and that you value the other person.

If the volume ticks up, use your own voice to bring it back down; if you find yourself getting frustrated, take a moment and breathe before speaking again. If need be, ask to take a break and return to the conversation after everyone has time to cool off. Perhaps everyone needs to take a short walk, have a snack or get a good night’s sleep.

Moving forward

Reflect and follow up if needed
While it would be nice, change doesn’t happen overnight. Conversations don’t always resolve the way we’d like, and more often than not, seeing progress requires a series of conversations and a willingness to keep trying. If things feel like they’re unresolved, let the person know that you appreciate their time and you’d like to follow up with them in the future. Give them some time and space before engaging again. If things are resolved more quickly, share your appreciation and gratitude with the other person and let them know you value their help and input.

Resources

Counseling and Psychiatric Services (CAPS) offers individual and drop-in counseling appointments virtually using telehealth. Call 303-492-2277 to make an appointment. CAPS counselors can help provide insight, solutions and information about additional resources. Students commonly visit with concerns about stress, sadness, worry, relationships, academic performance, family problems and financial struggles.

Conflict Resolution has a variety of resources for students who are looking to improve their skills around conflict. Students can take a quiz to find out their conflict style and how it may affect them. You can also enroll in virtual conflict coaching to get more insight into your specific situation. For more information on Conflict Resolution workshops, contact ConflictResolution@colorado.edu or call 303-492-5550.

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Here are some tips to help you get through a tough conversation.

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Thinking of quitting? How to nix the nicotine

Anonymous — Wed, 20 Mar 2019 19:58:57 +0000

Thinking of quitting? How to nix the nicotine Anonymous (not verified) Wed, 03/20/2019 - 13:58

The end of the spring semester can be a time of change. There’s a lot on the horizon: Whether it’s finding a job, planning a trip or making a plan to quit tobacco, having support can go a long way toward reaching your goals.

What are some things to consider when quitting?

Quitting tobacco use is beneficial to both your physical and mental health. However, quitting takes time and energy, so being prepared and learning what works and what doesn’t can help ensure your success. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Coaching can help you create a detailed plan before you quit, including setting a start date, determining if you want to use a quit-aid and identifying potential triggers.
Share your plan with a few close friends or family members and ask for their support to stay on track.
Nicotine replacement therapies (NRT) like patches, gum and lozenges can reduce withdrawal symptoms and minimize cravings. These are use-specific doses of nicotine, unlike vaping, and are designed to help people step down their use while limiting exposure to other chemicals.
While cravings can be tough, they typically don’t last more than 1- 5 minutes. Having a distraction such as a mobile game or a Rubik’s Cube can help keep you occupied until the craving passes.
Practicing stress management and relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, exercising and reading can help prevent relapse.

Be patient with yourself. Quitting tobacco takes time, commitment and self-love. If you slip and use tobacco or other nicotine products, don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ve learned something new about what worked and what didn’t. Apply that knowledge and continue forward. Many tobacco users try several times before they are able to quit for good.

What resources can help me quit?

Health Promotion (on campus) offers free quit kits, one-on-one tobacco coaching and workshops to support students with explore their relationship with tobacco, identify goals and create a plan. Visit Wardenburg 130 or call 303-492-2937 to schedule an appointment.
The Colorado QuitLine is a free online resource for Colorado residents 15 years of age and older. It offers resources including community support and online or over-the-phone coaching.
Smokefree.gov is an interactive website that can help with creating a quit plan and includes apps and a mobile version for accessing cessation resources on the go. Follow them on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Kill the Can offers support and resources for those looking to quit smokeless tobacco like chew and dip.
This is Quitting is a free app that allows you to connect with real people who have quit JUULs and cigarettes. The app offers free messaging, structured exercises and other training tools to help you be successful.

Choosing to quit using tobacco is beneficial to your physical and mental health. It takes time and energy, so being prepared and learning what works and what doesn’t can help ensure your success.

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Buff supporting Buffs: Helping a friend through trauma

Anonymous — Thu, 06 Dec 2018 16:41:30 +0000

Buff supporting Buffs: Helping a friend through trauma Anonymous (not verified) Thu, 12/06/2018 - 09:41

It can be difficult to listen to a friend open up about a traumatic experience, and harder still to know how to respond. Trauma is a personal experience, so it makes sense that people share their experiences in a very personal way.

Sometimes this may go against how we think someone should respond, but it’s important to keep in mind that there is no “right” way for a survivor to respond to or cope with a traumatic event. As part of their support system, you play a critical role in a survivor’s recovery and well-being.

Listen non-judgmentally

Start by believing. Listen to what your friend has to say, and let them steer the conversation. Be sure to avoid defining or labeling the situation. Instead, use the same language that the survivor uses to describe the experience.

If your friend begins to feel uncomfortable, give assurance they don’t have to share more than they are willing to. If the conversation gets too emotional, suggest taking a short break to decompress, and return to the conversation after you both have a moment to collect your thoughts.

Give reassurance

Survivors often experience feelings of self-blame, doubt and shame after a traumatic experience. They may believe it was their fault or that they are wrong. In a supportive role, it is important you assure them they did the right thing, and they are not responsible for what happened. Help to validate and normalize their feelings around the event.

Resources

CU Boulder’s Office of Victim Assistance (OVA) offers advocacy and short-term counseling related to traumatic experiences. Call their office at 303-492-8855 (24/7 phone support) or learn how to get help.

Moving to End Sexual Assault (MESA) in Lafayette offers workshops for survivors and loved ones of sexual assault.

Safehouse Alliance for Non-violence (SPAN) in Boulder has a shelter, workshops and support for people who have or had abusive partners.

Blue Bench in Denver provides a variety of services for survivors and loved ones of sexual violence and abuse.

Lend a hand

Make an effort to help out with practical tasks, basic needs and chores. For instance, if you’re at the store, text or call your friend to see if they need anything.

Additionally, ask them if they know about the resources available to them on campus such as the Office of Victim Assistance (OVA). If they need someone there with them to make a call or drop in (Monday to Friday, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., C4C N352), offer to be there and show your support.

Check yourself

When people share traumatic experiences with us, we often want to share our opinions on what they should do. When we do this, we take control away from the survivor.

Instead, allow your friend to decide what is best, and support their decisions, even if they go against what you think is right. Avoid sharing how the situation makes you feel and using phrases like “I know how you feel.” We can never truly understand how someone feels, even if we have experienced something similar. Attaching our own feelings to someone else’s trauma takes away from that person’s own feelings and experience.

Supporting someone who has experienced a traumatic event can be difficult. It’s important for supporters and loved ones to get their own support and take care of themselves. This may include seeking counseling or attending a workshop or support group.

If you or a friend are struggling to cope with a traumatic event, the Office of Victim Assistance is a free and confidential resource.

It can be difficult to listen to a friend open up about a traumatic experience, and harder still to know how to respond. As part of their support system, you play a critical role in a survivor's recovery and well-being.

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Let's talk about Rx drug use: What is an opioid?

Anonymous — Wed, 28 Nov 2018 21:04:58 +0000

Let's talk about Rx drug use: What is an opioid? Anonymous (not verified) Wed, 11/28/2018 - 14:04

There are many reasons why someone may take a prescription medication. We know that these prescriptions are only safe when taken as directed by a medical professional for a specific health purpose, but for those who still choose to use outside of these conditions* there are some things to be aware of. Whether you’ve heard about the opioid crisis, are concerned about a friend or just want to know more about prescription use and safety, here are the basics.

*It is illegal to take a prescription medication that was not prescribed to you directly.

What is an opioid?

There’s a lot of coverage in the media right now on opioid use in our country. It’s important to know what opioids actually are, where they come from and what the risks of use include.

Opioids are drugs derived from opium, also called opiates. Opioids include semi-synthetic and synthetic opiates, which include illicit drugs such as heroin, fentanyl, and carfentanyl. Opioids also include prescription pain medications, such as morphine, hydrocodone, oxycodone and OxyContin.

Opioid overdoses can be fatal and difficult to predict. The best prevention is to avoid opioid use unless explicitly prescribed to you with specific instructions by a medical professional. However, if someone still chooses to use, noting the factors that can contribute to an overdose may help save a life.

Types of other prescription medications

Safety and risks with prescription medications depends on the type of medication in use. It’s good to be aware of the associated effects with each.

Depressants are medications like Xanax and OxyContin, which can create feelings of sedation in users. They can also slow down or stop breathing.
Stimulants are medications like Adderall, which activate the body’s systems and increase heart rate, blood pressure and breathing. They can also create feelings of alertness.

Mixing any of these with other substances, including alcohol, can seriously increase the risk of negative effects and can be fatal in some cases. It is illegal to use prescription medications that were prescribed to someone else; doing so may also increase the risk of negative effects, as the actual contents of the medication are unknown.

To keep yourself, others and the environment safe, safely dispose of any unused prescription medications at the safe disposal box in the CU Police Department.

Risk factors for overdose

Quality. Substance potency varies substantially and may be cut with dangerous, high-potency opioids.
Mixing. Mixing opioids in particular with alcohol or other medications such as benzodiazepines can slow the respiratory system and stop breathing.
Tolerance. Tolerance decreases after periods without use including detoxification, hospitalization, or if a person resumes use after recovery.
Environment. Using in isolated environments decreases the likelihood of someone being able to help in an overdose situation.
Health problems. Underlying health problems, especially chronic lung diseases like emphysema or sleep apnea can slow the respiratory system—even when the user is not aware they may have these underlying health problems.

If you suspect overdose:

Call 911.

Emergency responders can provide immediate medical attention. If an opiate overdose is suspected, they can administer Naloxone, a drug that can reverse the effects and save lives. Naloxone/Narcan is available to anyone at select pharmacies without a prescription from a doctor.

How to help a friend

For those interested in recovery and treating addiction, Counseling and Psychiatric Services (in C4C N352) provides counseling, referrals to community resources, and ongoing suboxone treatment, which provides medically assisted support to those with an opioid addiction.

The CU Collegiate Recovery Center, located in UMC 414, offers meetings and support groups, recovery-focused housing, events and activities, peer support and more for students in recovery or interested in pursuing recovering.

Health Promotion, located on the first floor of Wardenburg Health Center, offers a free training on exploring one’s relationship with substance use.

Click here for more information about alcohol and other drugs policies and resources at CU Boulder.

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Buffs supporting Buffs during Domestic Violence/Intimate Partner Abuse Awareness Month

Anonymous — Wed, 03 Oct 2018 22:46:43 +0000

Buffs supporting Buffs during Domestic Violence/Intimate Partner Abuse Awareness Month Anonymous (not verified) Wed, 10/03/2018 - 16:46

Intimate partner abuse/domestic violence happens in all communities, and CU Boulder is not exempt. The way we respond matters—our response can influence the survivor’s decision to seek out further help and can affect their healing process.

As part of Domestic Violence/Intimate Partner Abuse Awareness Month this October, the Office of Victim Assistance (OVA) has provided tips and information on how to support survivors.

Recognize

Domestic violence, also known as intimate partner abuse, is best understood as a pattern of abusive behaviors including physical, sexual and psychological abuse, as well as economic coercion. These behaviors are used by one intimate partner against another to gain, maintain or regain power and control in the relationship.

Their partner may:

Control what their partner does, who they see and talk to.
Want to make all the decisions.
Manipulate with insults, guilt and/or threats to harm themselves or others.
Prevent their partner from working, studying or socializing.
Keep close track of where and what their partner is doing at all times.
Be physically, verbally, emotionally and/or sexually abusive.

Domestic violence can happen to anyone, regardless of sex, age, race, gender identity, gender expression or sexual orientation.

Respond

Here are a few ways you can support a friend who may have an abusive partner:

Listen and check in on safety. Your friend may have mixed emotions about their relationship.
Talk with your friend about what you are observing.
Give specific examples:
- “I’m afraid for your safety” and “you do not deserve to be treated that way.”
- “I’m concerned when I see your partner control who you can go out with.”
Inform your friend they have rights and options.
Support your friend in doing what they decide is best for them.

Reach out

If you or someone you know has been impacted by domestic violence/intimate partner abuse, reach out to OVA for free and confidential counseling, support and advocacy. Drop-in hours are 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday–Friday in C4C N352, or call 303-492-8855. After-hours contact information can be found on OVA’s website.

Find more information online at the "Get Help" page, and follow the OVA Facebook page for events on support and awareness during October.

Intimate partner abuse/domestic violence happens in all communities, and the way we respond to survivors matters, often influencing their decisions to seek out further help and affecting the healing process.

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Buffs supporting Buffs through traumatic events

Anonymous — Wed, 19 Sep 2018 06:00:00 +0000

Buffs supporting Buffs through traumatic events Anonymous (not verified) Wed, 09/19/2018 - 00:00

Traumatic events happen every day, and the CU Boulder community is not exempt. Students, staff and faculty experience harassment, discrimination, assaults, abuse and more.

The way we respond to a survivor matters—our response can influence the survivor’s decision to seek out further help and can affect their healing process.

Often, people want to help and sometimes do not know how to respond in these situations. The Office of Victim Assistance (OVA) has provided tips and information on how to support those impacted by a traumatic event.

How to help

If someone shares with you that they have experienced a traumatic event, you should:

Remain calm
Listen
Take the situation seriously
Believe the survivor
Avoid questioning and judging the survivor
Address safety, emotional and physical
Acknowledge their feelings are normal
Inform your friend they have rights and options
Support the survivor in doing what they decide is best for them

For a full list of ways to support a survivor, visit OVA’s website.

Reach out

OVA is a free and confidential on-campus advocacy and counseling center for students, faculty and staff. If you or someone you know has been impacted by harassment, discrimination, sexual assault, intimate partner abuse, stalking, hazing, physical assault and or experiences of bias, reach out to OVA for free and confidential counseling, support and advocacy.

The office is open from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., and drop-in hours are 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday – Friday in C4C N352, or call 303-492-8855. After-hours contact information can be found on OVA’s website.

If you have experienced a traumatic or disruptive experience, you can also learn more about your options and how to help by visiting the Don’t Ignore It site.

Traumatic events happen every day, and the CU Boulder community is not exempt. The way we respond to survivors matters, often influencing their decisions to seek out further help and affecting the healing process.

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January is National Stalking Awareness Month

Anonymous — Thu, 25 Jan 2018 22:37:27 +0000

January is National Stalking Awareness Month Anonymous (not verified) Thu, 01/25/2018 - 15:37

While legal definitions vary, a working definition of stalking is “a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.”

According to the Stalking Resource Center, in the United States, over 7.5 million people are stalked each year, with nearly half of all stalking victims (46 percent) facing a least one unwanted contact per week.

The majority of victims are stalked by someone they know (like an ex-partner or roommate), with experiences like having the person show up in places they were not wanted; receiving unwanted telephone calls, voicemails or text messages; being watched or followed from a distance; and being spied on.

Stalking happens in communities across the country, and chances are you know someone who has been stalked. Being someone who takes stalking seriously and is willing to help can make a difference.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a pattern of unwanted contact that is having impact on you, please contact the Office of Victim Assistance (OVA) to discuss safety concerns and explore safety planning.

What is stalking?

Stalking happens in communities across the country, and chances are you know someone who has been stalked. Being someone who takes stalking seriously and is willing to help can make a difference.

Stalking is a pattern of behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear or alter their everyday activities. The unwanted behaviors can consist of texts, phone calls, emails, social media posts, following someone, spying on someone, leaving unwanted gifts for someone or any combination.

Stalking is against the law in all 50 states and violates CU Boulder’s policies.

To learn more about stalking, call 303-492-8855 or visit CU’s Office of Victim Assistance (OVA) in the Center for Community. Go to the OVA website for tips on how to log unwanted behavior, how to help a friend and more. Also, OVA advocate counselors always are willing to discuss something more with you confidentially, if you want.

More information on national stalking awareness can be found at the Stalking Resource Center.

How to Help a Friend who is Being Stalked

If you know someone experiencing a pattern of behavior that is causing them to feel fear or alter their everyday activities, there are ways to support them.

Take the situation seriously, and leave out judgement.
Ask about, and listen to, what your friend needs to feel safe.
Let your friend know what you are noticing and express your concern.
Encourage your friend to keep a record of what has been happening.
Please note if you have experienced a similar situation, your friend’s reactions and choices may differ, and that is okay.
Consider referring your friend to free and confidential advocacy, counseling and support services at CU’s Office of Victim Assistance (OVA). They can be contacted at 303-492-8855 or assist@colorado.edu.
Be aware that if you start to feel impacted by your friend’s situation, OVA is here for you, too! Getting support for yourself will allow you to be more available for your friend.

To learn more about stalking, visit the Stalking Resource Center and OVA's stalking pages on the “Get Help” tab. Also, look for more information on OVA’s Facebook page.

While legal definitions vary, a working definition of stalking is “a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.”

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